24. [Return of the AmEx, and a Legal Eagle]

After a big scare with a violent POT, I went back to the drawing board. Not just with sugar, but with life in general. I stepped away for a few months to collect myself.

I appear to have collected myself, and then some.

I have found a great SD. He's a top-notch attorney, a total sweetheart, and so far, pretty generous.  We haven't yet consummated anything beyond getting drunk at lunch with one another, and him treating me to a wonderful spa day. He's more interested in mentoring me, I believe. He's a total narcissist in that regard. I know he's only taken such an interest in me because he is truly in love with his own ego, and I, for lack of a better phrase, have the same swagger as he does. I'm confident, rather brash, self-assured, and fancy myself intellectual. I don't like losing. I think him getting close to me is the only way he will be able to feed his ultimate fantasy: fucking himself. We shall see, but for now, I play to the vanity.

And in a strange twist of fate, CC, the man of the fabled Black Amex, has been back in contact with me. He wants to start seeing me again...urghhh. I adore him to pieces, he's quite a nice man, but I can't waste my time on something so lacking. I wish I could just have my cake and eat it too, but sugar never works that way - ever. I'm kind of at an impasse. We have great chemistry and company, but I don't need another boyfriend - mine is more than enough. I want sugar, dammit!

22. [called it!]

I have always had this innate ability to manipulate men. Even when I was younger, considerably less attractive, heavier, and so embarrassingly awkward, I was still pulling guys waaaay above my station. They were rich, or hot, or well-connected, or all three. I think even then, before I committed to sugar dating, I had already established my standards. I created a sort of enigma about myself...who is this girl and why is she only dating this type of guy and why is she so special and would she try me out?

 

It was sugar economics. I kept my supply limited, so I was in high demand.


I also was usually the one to end things. I would get bored, or lose interest, or his true colors would come out and I'd decide it's time to leave. I would be amicable enough, but I would always leave a small trace of cruelty - a hint of "it's-not-me-it's-you" to the parting, and always, always, ALWAYS did these big, puffed-up, prideful men come running back.

Guess who is no exception to the rule?

When CC and I had our falling out, I told him not to contact me, that he knew what I was looking for, how old I was, and questioned his willingness and ability to please (along with his reading comprehension). I thanked him for everything, and also told him that for someone who wanted to take so many risks, he was sure playing it so insanely safe that had we continued, I probably would have been bored anyway, and that maybe he is too old for adventure.

 

Now, let me just say, playing bad cop is a tricky game to master. I have fucked up a lot along the way, and I do not recommend it for the faint of heart or to those who are desperate. I personally view men as superfluous and expendable objects. They're like the hydra. Chop one head off and two new ones pop up in its place. I am ruled by logic and lust - the meeting of numbers and sex. I am definitely not gonna cry if I cut one guy off and he never comes back. That's the risk you run when you play with cruelty. Either you scare them off or get them addicted.

I live by this quote from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (which is actually a shitty play and probably his worst work...but the quote is nice):

 

I think I wounded CC a bit. Well, a lot more than a bit. I think I majorly shook him up. He wants to know that he's still got "it", that he isn't easily replaceable, that he could still drive a younger woman crazy. He's seeking validation. I am never quick to give that.

Men pursue us because they have a lack, a void. They have an innate NEED that is not being met. I'm not saying starve them to death, but take your time. Fill them up slowly. By the time you have them near the brim, you have already sunk your claws so deep that you become synonymous with the cure for what ails them. They need YOU, not the other way around.

CC called me yesterday, apologized for his bad behavior, and asked if he could take me to Vegas for my birthday. He also sent me some lovely apology gifts, and I miss his head bobbing between my legs, so I think I will give him another shot. He now knows what caliber of woman he is dealing with. I have set a precedent with my expectations and what I will put up with now. I am not going to beg or grovel or exist solely to appease someone. My needs come first. Meet my expectations and I will meet your needs - if you're worthy.

On another note, I am going on a date with a MAJOR POT tonight. SEND ME GOOD VIBES AND GOOD LUCK. 

I didn't have a chance to meet with one of my other ones last week, but the one I did meet with sent me home with a nice spoonful of sugar and a potential business deal. 

I love my life.

17. [the hangover]

Oh Buckeye...


Buckeye and I only got to spend one night together this weekend. He had to get home to his daughter. It was a wonderful night. We cuddled, mostly, had brief sex (I just get him too damn excited), and went to church together the next morning. It felt like we were married. We haven't talked much since then. Damn him and his emotional issues! I'm just gonna give him space and time. He'll come around. He always does. Haha.

The bf wants to marry me. Like soon. Soon soon. As in by the end of the week. I CAN'T COMMIT TO THIS! He's joining the military as a doctor and wants us to be settled before he leaves. Umm...no?
 

CC pitched a fit this weekend. He's flipping out because I have emotions. Sorry I cried after my first ever car crash? He also pulled this "I wish you could legally drink" card. WHATEVER. You knew my age from the get-go. It didn't matter that I was 20 when you had me bent over at the Aria in Vegas, did it? My age was the last thing on your mind I'm sure when you had my pussy throbbing on your tongue...I've no time for games and I am not going to beg.
 We had fun but you are replaceable. 

A pot is flying me to Texas next weekend...so excited! A handsome Dr, not unlike my bf, but waaaay generou$$$$. Young, handsome, UBER successful...
The bf makes between 500k to 750k a year. This Dr makes between 1.5 and 3 mil a year, and invests, owns his own clinic, and is active in commercial real estate. Hold me.

I'm also going to a Ferrari event this weekend!  A friend asked me to be his +1...can't wait to freestyle again. Tips and tricks needed, ladies! :)

16. [cavities]

Azucars, I have had simultaneously the best and worst luck ever.

Bad luck:

I got in a car accident. Totally my fault. Well actually, totally CC's fault since the heels he bought me broke while I was driving and kept me from hitting the brakes! I told him and he told me to tell him I was joking. He asked how I was and I haven't heard from him since Tuesday...a bit miffed at that. More than a bit, actually. I think he thought I was going to ask him for money. So not the case. He's the gift daddy :) The bf is paying for all repairs - nearly 10 grand between two cars! Ah. So lucky.

Lawyerman never got back to me :(

Buckeye is leaving next week.

Mr. Boots poofed.


Good luck:

I've been hooking up with this GORGEOUS guy from AM and he's married, has a baby girl, is successful, yada yada yada, and he's started to kind of hint at spoiling me. It's purely sexual between us, even though he did have me hold his baby, which was hella weird for me, but if he's giving sugar, I won't refuse!

I found a new POT, an outrageously successful one. Verified by me and everything. He is looking for the executive assistant thing and is willing to pay for a car - all through the company, of course. Very excited. We'll meet up sometime next week and see how that all goes.

I also have a FORSURE POT in Texas. He's not the hottest, but he's funny and will give me 2k a month for seeing each other twice a month. We'll see how that goes.

Buckeye and I are headed off for the weekend to say our final goodbyes to one another. It's all so very bittersweet. Though I know we will be together someday, someday is not now, as much as I want it to be. We're going to spend the next few days cuddling and having an obscene amount of sex.

Hasta Luego, mis Azucaritas tan bonitas!


Sugar Senorita

15. [did it again]

Lawyerman asked for my phone number. I sent it to him. I still haven't received a call from him. I'll probably send a follow up email, or ask some random legal question to break the ice again. Maybe I can even ask him to proofread a story I've been writing...hmmm...


Buckeye and I reached a tentative peace in recent days. He openly admitted to commitment issues, et a deep and inexplicable attraction to me. I played the "too little, too late, moved on card" but SOMETHING about that man is like voodoo to me. I can't let him go! Ugh. Somewhere between silly texts and a picture or two, I ended up at his place, snuggling and laughing on the couch. I've never been as at ease with someone as much as I am around him. IT'S ANNOYING. My bf is an incredible man, but he has never stimulated me in the same way mentally and physically, even though he is "bigger" if you know what I mean. I adore my bf and he is the best man I have ever known, but he just doesn't do it for me the way Buckeye does. Even though sex with Buckeye lasts waaaaay less time than it does with bf (I have Buckeye cumming in 2 pumps, then another few minutes and he's done ;) ), and bf and I are closer in age, and bf treats me like GOLD, I feel like Buckeye will haunt the periphery of my mind, always.


We had sex twice last night. It's kind of funny, really. We had no sex while we were "dating", but now that I am official with someone (and neither knows about the other!), suddenly we consummate our relationship. What the fuck. There are too many men in my life for me to keep straight haha.


CC is spoiling the hell out of me for VDay. Work kept us from being able to see each other this week, but I am pretty sure I should be expecting some packages verrrrrrry soon...hopefully with the Loboutins I tried on and fell in love with.

CC is so easily manipulated. I love it. We shop, he raises an eyebrow at a total, I whisper in his ear about his heel fetish and how amazing whatever item would look on me in bed, he kisses me, and we go home and fuck. That man adores me and I adore him. Him and his perpetual cowboy boots. Haha :)

12. [just kidding!]

Today I had the worst day ever. It is only like 2pm. Anyway, this morning sucked.

Today I got home and there was a huge package from amazon.com outside. I opened it up of course! I was so curious who it could be from and what it could be.

IT WAS A KITCHENAID 70 PART STAND MIXER! I love baking so this to me is like giving a crack addict a mountain of coke.

I looked at who it was from. The note said "As you requested for your new place :) CC".

Then I remembered when CC and I were spending time together, I jokingly asked him to send me a kitchen stand mixer to my house.

HE REALLY DID. My day is made :)

11. [naturally.]

Buckeye flaked, yet again. Of course. He wants me, but he doesn't. I think he is just realizing that I am amazing and he will never find another girl like me and for that reason is having a hard time letting go. Whatever. He's cut off.

I'm now sitting in a hotel with CC. Today was lowkey, but awesome. I just got my own place, so he's sending me some gift cards to some really high end home decor places. He's also talking about giving me a job with his company. Now THAT would be an absolute dream.

We got a bit more personal today. I asked him about his wife. CC is married, albeit unhappily (aren't they all?). He has had affairs in the past. His last one ended because the woman's husband found out about it and made his wife call CC's family and tell his wife all about it. I asked if he ever considered a divorce. He said it was out of the question. He still has two kids (nearly grown) living at home. His wife didn't want to divorce for the sake of the kids. We all know that's bs. She didn't want to leave because of the $$$$ hahaha.

I don't get it. It may be hypocritical, but if my husband ever cheated on me, whoooooo LORD. I would go for the jugular. Everything he had I would fight tooth and nail to make mine. Hit em where it hurts. I'd also walk away with my dignity, at least.

CC says they'll see when the youngest one leaves if he and his wife patch things up, but things are not looking good.

I really like CC. I can see us being an item. Conversation flows freely. We're playful and fun. He is an amazing lay and loves going down. He's older, he's tall, he's lean, he's rich, he's reliable. What's not to love?

I'm gonna go wake up his snoring ass and make him make me cum again. Hasta luego, Azucars!


xoxo

10. [next to you]

I think the prospect of me possibly moving on and leaving permanently scared Uncle's Friend (now to be known as Buckeye) straight. He has completely pulled a 180 and is now making plans to come over tomorrow :) I think a relationship is pretty much imminent at this point.

CC and I are seeing each other Tuesday <3 I'm so excited. He always spoils me.

I met with a Pot yesterday and he was hella feeling me, but I wasn't feeling him. He's clingy and needy and I think he needs an actual gf to deal with that. Not this girl. Haha. Also looks nothing llike his pics. Go figure.

I have a few more possible guys, but we'll see how it goes. One is a software engineer (hot), one is in investing (hottest), another is in finance (hot). It's not the finding of SDs that is hard for me. I just can't fake affection. It would be so much easier if I could just dissociate, but I just can't. I think I'll blame Buckeye for that one ;)

8. [Hmmm...]

Colonel Construction and I had to shelve our Seattle plans for the time being. I'm so sad! We're doing lunch at a swanky place tomorrow, and lounging at a luxe hotel, but still. I wanted Seattle :( Hahah.

I have 3 pots lined up. I have kind of come to recognize that CC will be a gift daddy. His gifts are fab, don't get me wrong, but I can't pay my rent in purses. I haven't sunk my claws in deep enough to turn him into a full-fledged SD yet, but I'm keeping the faith!

One pot is in Texas (yuck), the other in Boston (meh), and the other in DC (YESSSSS). One of the main criteria for me in choosing an SD (other than attraction, allowance, intellect) is LOCATION. The way I see it, I'll probably be spending quite a bit of time in other states and whatnot, so it needs to be in an area I actually enjoy. I made the mistake once of letting a pot fly me to Florida. I HATED IT. I had never been so miserable in my life. He and I didn't click, and I hate Florida. I came home empty-handed and ready to throw in the towel. New rule: stay somewhere you would actually enjoy if you were to leave/be ditched.

Texas pot is offering me 2k, Boston hasn't talked about it with me yet, but I can tell he is generous, and DC pot wants more of a relationship. I'm not into the relationship thing, but I like DC pot for a few reasons.

1. He is so sweet!
2. He makes me laugh.
3. He has preteen kids (I'm infertile, so someone else having kids is a big plus for me in relationships, given a cordial working relationship between the parents)
4. He has the influence I like in a man.

Many of the guys I have even just dated (most, to be honest hahah) have been in the military, and most were high ranking officers with some political connections/aspirations/clout. DC pot is VERY prominent, and I knew who he was upon viewing his pic. I had to snatch that one up!

I don't just want to be arm candy or a trophy wife. I want to be someone's right hand. I want to be the Wendy to their Rupert Murdoch, the Cheney to their Bush. I want to use their power and position to our and my benefit. It'll be my foot in the door. That's the real reason I do this Sugar Baby search. It's not just money - it's an opportunity. I have met so many different men from all walks of life. It's such a blessing.

Sugar dating is the best way to network, hands down. Just gotta nail down the right SD with the right position and I'll have it made.


I love being a girl.

7. [Mr. Black Amex]

Mr. Black Amex (affectionately known as Colonel Construction) and I met randomly.

I don't have time for a relationship. Between school and work, I hardly have time to breathe. I still want sex with someone hot and local, though.

I signed up for AM on a whim, thinking I would find someone who would know the true nature of a friend with benefits. It ended up being the best decision I have made in my sugar life.

I received a few messages from an older, local man. He was very energetic, talked of spontaneity, travel, etc; and had the means to do it.

We emailed back and forth, and I was admittedly uninterested at first. He was so pushy. He could tell I was reticent, he later admitted, and made his next move to shore things up.

He booked us a flight to Vegas. I had two hours to get packed and be at the airport.

I was freaking out, because I was still running errands. I ended up running too late to make the first flight, so Colonel Construction transferred our flights to a later time, and took me shopping beforehand. I wasn't expecting much at first, maybe a fun trip and a little gambling money, nothing major, nothing serious. I picked out a dress and some heels - a cool 700$. CC didn't blink an eye. He told me how good I looked in it, and handed his card to the saleswoman.

We boarded our plane, and arrived in Vegas. We had a late dinner and retired to our super swanky suite after...23rd floor! As soon as the doors were closed (actually before, it started in the elevator!), CC couldn't keep his hands off me. I loved it.

CC is the epitome of the sexy older man. He's 6'1, has perfectly greying hair, piercing blue eyes, is well-dressed, well-spoken, and intelligent. He may be a bit reserved, but I like that. It makes me look better when I am the perfectly attentive and sweet and doting companion.

Anyway, I have to admit, the best sexual encounters I have ever had have all been with older men. This was no exception. CC is the best head I have ever had, easily. I have never come so hard. He found my spot instantly, and just kept working it all night...mmmm. He outlasted ME which never happens. Ever.

We went shopping again, and I got so spoiled. Gucci, Marc Jacobs, Dior...I love the forum shops.

I did notice that we got a lot of looks, and a lot of snide comments, which he and I both completely ignored. In all honesty, I know I'd be jealous if I was on the outside looking in. Besides, CC had me wet the entire trip, and was not afraid to sneak feels and fingers wherever he had the chance. I love that sexual adventurousness about him. He had me soaking in the back of a cab until I practically begged him to take me back to the hotel so he could fuck me.

The day came to an end too quickly, and we departed when we arrived back home. We've had lunch once since last week's trip, and we have another getaway planned for this week.

He may not give me cash, but he spoils the hell out of me, and I am sure as we get more comfortable with one another, that will be less and less out of the picture...