Still no sugar for me, but I have plenty of stuff lined up for me.
I've just been so hung up on this guy. He drives me crazy. He's been there for me through so much stuff, just utter shit, and we've had feelings for each other since the moment we met. He kept me from falling apart on so many different occasions. Its more complicated than anything I ever experienced in the sugar world. We care about each other an insane amount. I've never slept so good as I do when I sleep in his arms. We've fooled around a few times, had sex only once (and he came in 6 pumps, yes ladies, I have the golden ticket hahaha), but I don't think we could ever be together. It just...
He knows things about me that literally no one else in the world does, and he doesn't judge me for it. He is always texting to cheer me up, or letting me know he's thinking of me, or reminding me how gorgeous I am. I want for it so badly to work, but I know it's the wrong decision to make. Or at least, I'm realizing it at 1am while listening to a country song that perfectly describes our situation.
He's my uncles friend. He has a kid (who is adorable and adores me, can I add) and is divorced and just everything I look for, but it just will never work. It just can't. Neither one of us want a relationship. He is always making and cancelling dates. I think we're both scared of falling for each other when he is moving to the opposite coast soon and when my uncle would clearly not approve of our relationship.
The other day we got in an argument. We were supposed to meet up downtown, but he was vague about dorections and wouldn't answer my calls. I told him to delete my pictures and my number. He talked me down from that ledge, thanks in large part to my admittance that I was overreacting. I was so frustrated. I told him that he either makes time for me or I walk. He told me not to be like that, that I know he cares about me. Then he got concerned that we were sounding like a couple. We really were. I got scared so I blamed him for it. I don't know what we're doing. I just can't be alone with him.
I don't see you laugh
You don't call me back
But you kiss me when you're drunk
I don't know your friends
Don't know where you've been
Why are you the one I want?
Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay
Don't say it doesn't matter cuz it's gonna matter to me
I can't be alone with...
You've got me out on the edge every time I call
And I know it would kill me if I fall
I can't be alone with you.
You guys do sound like a couple. I understand your situation. If your uncle won't approve and that is important to you then block his number and don't answer the door when he shows up. But if he could be the 1 and you can see yourself being step-mom to the kids and being the little lady...you uncle will see how happy you guys are together. If your willing to relocate with him and he seriously wants to to go...then I say go for it. You can't sit in limbo forever it will drive you nuts and eventually the two of you will drive each other crazy to the point where you can't be together.
ReplyDeleteSit down with your boo (face 2 face) and talk about big girl things and if he's serious and your serious then do it.
I hope that helps :)
SMOOCHIES***
It really does! We've talked more seriously about where this is headed and he even admitted the extent of his feelings (something he never does!). We're still a bit reticent to commit, with the move, but we both have this feeling that we're going to end up together anyway hahaha.
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