My first foray into the world of sugar was a complete travesty, to say the very least.
I had responded to an ad seeking a sugar baby on CL. I have to admit, it wasn't the sugar that initially lured me in - it was the intellectual attraction that I held to this professional, who, as I later learned was nothing but a character played by a con man.
In this ad, the man described himself as a professional, educated, son of a diplomat, who had just signed a 6-figure book deal in photojournalism. There are red flags all over that description, I now realize, but dumb and naive little me was so interested in the prospect of being (and finding!) an intellectual muse that I suppose I glossed over that entirely.
There were red flags all over our initial meeting.
He set up a stipend - but alas, he banks internationally, so he has to call his barrister to set it up. He asked me to set up another account, put some money it, and he would deposit 7k. I did, but he didn't.
I was 18 at this point, living out on my own for the first time, with no help from home. Safe to say I was under financial duress, and maybe because of it, I looked the other way on several fishy things.
1) He showed up to our first meeting in a cab. Not inherently weird, but no one takes cabs in Southern California.
2) He didn't have a permanent residence out here, always saying he was "visiting" and staying on friends' sailboats or tenements.
3) He talked about all the things he had, yet was very stingy, and displayed no real signs of wealth.
4) He never rented a hotel room or ate at a more upscale restaurant.
5) He asked and expected me to drive him home (hours away!) with not even as much as gas money.
After promise after promise with this man, and the constant empty hands, I finally went off on him. He promised (surprise) that he would be sending me a Mac laptop for school with all the amenities. I gave him my mailing address (not my home one). It never came, and he disappeared.
I, babies, was a sucker, but it taught me a lot. Some advice:
1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Again, for emphasis. IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS.
2. While you can't make someone keep their promise, you can limit your time wasted on them. Cut your losses sooner, rather than later. Trust me, you'll find another, even better daddy just around the corner ;)
3. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, say it. If a daddy truly cares for you, he will understand. This does NOT mean act like an entitled diva and be completely close-minded, but if you are really not okay with doing something/going somewhere, vocalize it and explain why.
4. Look for signs. Note cars, clothes, tips they leave, where they eat, etc; This is generally indicative of the kind of means a person possesses.
5. Ask a lot of questions, but make sure you hear details in the answers. Get timelines. Ask a background. Google names, email addresses, whatever you have been given. Verification is the name of the game.
Don't get suckered by some creepy old man trying to take advantage of a young and beautiful girl such as yourself. Empty promises (and wallets!) are just that - empty. If you keep hearing words but see no action, it is time to move on. Don't hold on to a pipe dream.
“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”
- Theodore Roosevelt
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